harelip prayers

 

I’ve cried my eyes out the past couple of days.  (My second mamma — Connie — left us to be with Jesus earlier this week.)  I had to dig out a couple of my favorite passages (some of which include the Scriptural Psalms).  One of which–found in David James Duncan’s The Brothers K–is a psalm of sorts in its own right.  (Okay, small p … but still.)  Because harelip prayers seem to be about all I can muster these days … (and because I love this story), here’s an excerpt:

“You know, Kade.  This whole thing, this shed business, it really is ridiculous.”  Then he smiled–and sadly, almost shyly added.  “But Vera says her stupid prayers no matter what.  Right?”

This remark washed over me in slow, silent waves: the shedding of the cigarettes, the tortured four-mile runs, the scavenged lumber and laborious building project–it was some kind of elaborate apology, some sort of self-imposed penance for having hit me.  It was a gesture, a wonderful gesture.  But a gesture nonetheless.  “Look, Kade,” he said, reaching down and squeezing my sagging shoulders.  “My situation, baseball-wise, is hopeless.”

My throat began to close.  I looked away to hide the welling in my eyes.

“The thing is,” he said, “I don’t want you getting worked up over nothing when I start spending time out here.  I built this shed because throwing baseballs keeps my head on straight.  I did not build it to inaugurate some sort of fairytale comeback.  Do you understand that?”

I stared at the little piece of diamond we’d just made.

“No matter how well I may eventually seem to be throwing, and no matter what your all-knowing brother Everett may say, all I’m ever gonna do out here is toss the pitcher’s equivalent of harelip prayers.  Okay?”

My tongue felt thick and dry now–not a hint of yak butter anywhere.

“Don’t think of it as baseball, Kade.  Call it my hobby, or some weird kind of worship maybe.  Call it psalmball, or shedball, or thumbball if you like.  But remember it’s not baseball.  It’s not a comeback.  You’ve got to promise me that.”

A lump of sandstone lay in my throat.  I couldn’t speak.  But he waited.  He waited till our eyes met, then bent my will like an arm wrestler bends a wrist: I had to nod to keep from breaking.  “Okay,” he said, handing me his hammer. “Let’s pound in that plate.”

We did so.  But I took no pleasure in it now.

–David James Duncan, The Brothers K

evening scripture

This is what the LORD says: 
“Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom 
or the strong man boast of his strength 
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this: 
that he understands and knows me, 
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, 
justice and righteousness on earth, 
for in these I delight,” 
declares the LORD.

–Jeremiah, Chapter 9

evening prayer

My soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning,
more than those who watch for the morning.

Out of the depths I have cried to You.
O Lord, hear my voice.
With my whole heart I want to praise You.
O Lord, hear my voice.
If you, Lord, should mark iniquities:
Who could stand? who could stand?

I will wait for the Lord. My soul waits, and in His word do I hope.

Lord, You have always given bread for the coming day;
and though I am poor, today I believe.
Lord, You have always given strength for the coming day;
and though I am weak, today I believe.
Lord, You have always given peace for the coming day;
and though of anxious heart, today I believe.
Lord, You have always kept me safe in trials;
and now, tried as I am, today I believe.
Lord, You have always marked the road for the coming day;
and though it may be hidden, today I believe.
Lord, You have always lightened this darkness of mine;
and though the night is here, today I believe.
Lord, You have always spoken when time was ripe;
and though you be silent now, today I believe.

–Northumbria Community, Evening Prayer

we’re so lucky to have

Chris & Tammi Jehle (& The Hope Center) … residing in KC.  I finally had the chance to listen (again) to a couple of sessions Chris taught to our faith-community this past April.  I highly recommend them to anyone interested in learning more about the poor & vulnerable in our city (and how deeply God loves them).  I hope & sometimes even pray that I will begin to love this demographic with more sincerity.

mia?

I’ve been away from the blog-o-sphere for a couple of days.  Internet trouble on Monday, and heavy eyelids last nite … (I was snoozing by 9 p.m.)!  Alas, I’ve returned to the land of the living (& typing) to drop a quick update.

Even in my absence on-line, God’s been showing Himself strong & fully present with me.  (Something I’ve been needing desperately as of late, amidst my own small season of disorientation.)

After some tearful, earnest prayers last weekend, I felt that God reached out to me today through Letitia Washington (the woman we’re building our Habitat home for this year).  Letitia called out of the blue and left a message saying she had no agenda; just hadn’t talked to me for awhile and felt she should call.  I — in a rare moment of reaching out beyond expectations — decided to call back.

It was an awesome conversation.  Turns out, Letitia and I have some important things common these days (as we both navigate through the acquisition of a new home).  The best moment was when Letitia said to herself (or so she thought), “you know, God will never leave you or forsake you.”  This, after my pestering-prayer of the weekend had been “God, are you with me here?” (emphasis on each syllable, please).

It’s amazing how God’s Word — enlivened by God’s Spirit … enfleshed by God’s people — does, in fact, change the day.  I’m still reeling.  (And still quite disoriented, I suppose — but that’s for another post.)

Sometimes — more days than not, it seems — I just can’t believe God is interacting with me in such real and invasive ways.  You’d think I’d get used to it after 20+ years.  I find the converse is true; I am more surprised each day by the nearness of Christ.  Amen.  (May it be.)

evening prayer

In peace we will lie down and sleep; for you alone, Lord, make us dwell in safety.
Abide with us, Lord Jesus, for the night is at hand and the day is now past.
As the night watch looks for the morning, so do we look for you, O Christ.
May the Holy Spirit of God bless and sanctify us,
So that we may be consecrated in the truth.  Amen.

–An Order of Compline

evening psalm (aka: because somedays, you just need to know a great king above all gods)

Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD;
       let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
Let us come before him with thanksgiving
       and extol him with music and song.
For the LORD is the great God,
       the great King above all gods.
In his hand are the depths of the earth,
       and the mountain peaks belong to him.
The sea is his, for he made it,
       and his hands formed the dry land.
Come, let us bow down in worship,
       let us kneel before the LORD our Maker;

–Psalm 95

a call to prayer

So many Burmese people find themselves in need of the basic necessities in the aftermath of Cyclone Nargis.  Let us pray that our Heavenly Father will grant them shelter, food, community support, and the inexplicable peace only He can give in such times.

lord, in your mercy, hear my prayer

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.  As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean.  If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died.  Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil.  For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

–Paul, Romans

evening prayer

Almighty God, to whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hidden; cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love you and worthily magnify your name through Christ our Lord.  Amen.

Book of Common Prayer